My Mother’s Story


During the month of January 2005, my mother discovered a lump upon her leg. It was slightly bigger than an average size mole found on one’s body and had changed in colour from when it had first appeared on the body. My mother always wanting to be on the safe side and knowing that she had miss-treated her skin when she was younger went to the NHS to get the mole checked out. They, being the nurses and the doctors at our local NHS hospital sent her away on several occasions, saying that the mole was nothing to be worried about and she had no cause for concern. Several months passed and the summer came along. Our family had planned a holiday to Thailand in August and just before we were due to fly, my mother visited the doctor again and once again they told her not to be worried and to just keep an eye on the mole, if it was to get any darker in colour or raise above the skin then there could be a problem.
My younger sister and I only recently discovered that my mother had had these doctor appointments prior to the Thailand vacation and it was not till November 2005, that I discovered my mother had any type of cancer. My elder sister had known as she had constantly been asking my mother questions and now I feel slightly dumb that I did not realise before. I do remember asking my mother on holiday what the mole was on her leg and why it was bleeding, but she just passed it off as nothing and therefore I did not think any more of it.
As I said above, the mole on holiday did start bleeding as it had rose above her skin and had been caught on something, it had also become very dark in colour and now did not look like a mole but rather a small lump of chocolate on her leg.
On November 1st 2005, I remember it very clearly; it is not something that one would forget that easily, I was getting ready to go out for my best friend’s birthday. I received a phone call from my mother on the house phone it was around 8’o clock and I knew straight away that something was wrong. She could hardly speak and was talking in a very low voice, which is not like my mother, she is very loud and has an extremely strong Welsh accent which is always lively and sounds cheerful. My mother told me that she had melanoma, skin cancer. The ‘c’ word was all that ringed in my ears. I had friends who had parents that had passed away due to different types of cancer and my grandmother had survived breast cancer, so I had been surrounded by the illness before, yet I never thought that my mum, at such a young age, would be the one telling me that she had cancer.
My younger sister had just been up to visit me and when she had returned home she knew that something did not seem right at home. She pestered my mother till my parents confessed that whilst she had been away, they had gone private and had been to see a specialist who informed my mother that the lump that been growing on her leg was cancerous and due to the length of time that it had been left without any treatment the cancer had spread to her groin. By this point in the phone conversation, I was beside myself and did not know what to do, I could not stop crying which in return caused my mum to cry and in the end, my father had to come onto the phone. My dad is a man of quite few words and never cries in front of me, this was probably the second time in my whole life that I heard him cry. To hear my dad crying made me feel even worse, nothing else seemed to matter at this point in my life. I went home the following week with my elder sister to visit my family and was only meant to be returning for the weekend, however the news of my mother finally hit once I had returned and sent me into what I can only describe as a state of depression. I could not stop crying, I could not move and I did not want to leave my mum and return to Manchester. I ended up staying for a further few days, most of them I just sat with my mum whilst she held me and I cried, it sounds pointless but I feel I needed to do this, to let it all out with my mother with me.
As my mum had now gone private, my dad explained to me that things would be happening much quicker now and the next couple of months would be extremely hectic. The consultant had stated that they needed to operate straightaway, he would be taking, I think about twenty-four lymphoid from her groin and also removing the lump from her leg. The operation was to be taking place at the Royal Marsden Hospital, six weeks before Christmas. This was another blow to my mother and the rest of the family. As it is to most families Christmas was a big occasion for our family and my mother loved to get involved and be the main host. The Christmas dinner, the presents, the wrapping all of the small minor details, such as decorating the tree and putting the decorations out around the house was something my mum loved to do and looked forward to, it gutted her that she would not be able to move around over Christmas and that she would have to rest instead of rushing around which she had done for the past twenty-two years. Christmas 2005 was extremely hard, yet it bought the family extremely close. We had always been a close family but I feel there was an extra appreciation for every family member now. For myself, the thought of losing my mother was unthinkable and I found a whole new respect for her, in the strength that she had in herself as well as for the rest of the family. Before, I had spoken to my mother three times a week, now I was phoning her everyday, even when she was in the hospital to fill her in on everything that was happening, I did not want her to miss out on anything, my mother became my new best friend.
After the operation and Christmas, my mum was off work for six months and was going for regular check-ups at the hospital. The cancerous lump on the leg had been removed and the high risk cells in her groin had also been removed, yet there were still low cancer cells as there had not been a cure yet found for this type of cancer. The cells would only become dangerous though if they were to develop into high risk cells as this would mean that they had become cancerous.
Summer 2006 came and my mum had been doing well, her consultant had told her she was able to go away on holiday but just to cover up and not sit directly in the sun. Other than that there were no reasons why she could not go away. The cancer was already there in my mum she could not get rid of it, by going on a summer holiday would not cause the illness to return, it could do that with or without the sun. Therefore, my parents and my younger sister went to Phoenix in America and they had a fantastic time.
Then in October, I received another horrid phone call. The cancer had returned, not even a year after it had been first removed, I could not believe that it had come back so soon. My world went into a whirlwind again, I could not eat, I was crying all the time and it was affecting everything in my life. However, on a positive note due to my mother going private the cancerous cells had been detected early and so this meant that they could be removed straightaway. My mother’s consultant removed the lump again in November and the operation was successful. The negative part was that again for Christmas, my mother felt slightly helpless, yet on the other hand it bought everyone even closer. I felt for the first time in my life, that I had to protect and support my mother as much as she had done and still does for me.
My mother has three month check ups and at the moment and hopefully fingers crossed the cancer has not returned again since. There may always be a possibility that it could return, but we have to look on the positive side of life and as my mum says we could cry everyday about it, but then it would be like the illness had killed her anyway. I am so proud of my mother and the way she has dealt with the whole journey and news. I had always looked up to my mum but now I see her in a new light and I do not know whether it has come with maturity or with the way she has managed the whole situation and the fact that I could have lost her but I do not keep anything from my mother now and there is nothing that I feel uncomfortable about or feel that I cannot tell her. Even if it may not be something she would like, she is my best friend and I know that she will always give me the best possible advice and support. That is how I feel for her now, I need to be there and support her at this time.